The Disruption of Anger

I had to catch myself this morning as I found myself a bit late getting off to work. One of my daughters is complaining that no one woke her up at six o’clock per her request (which I cannot recall her asking me if she did) anh here it was half an hour later. She’s standing in one spot loathing over how little time she has to get her things done. I said to her that while the situation looked bleak, it behooves her to do as much as possible in the time remaining. She just stood there wallowing in misery. I told her that as long as she stands there doing nothing, nothing will fet done and if she’s wise, she’d better put “the pedal to the metal” and haul a__. She just raised her voice and said there was no chance she could finish her preparations in the amount of time left. She was right. She wasn’t doing anything but whining in place. I wanted to yell at her but then quickly realized, in time, that she became the proverbial horse that when lead to water, can’t be forced to drink if it doesn’t want to. I didn’t know what to do.

I felt a surge of anger. What the heck is going on here? Can you smack sense into the “blind”, ignorant and stubborn? Of course not! Being a parent, it’s become apparent that one finds need for a course in psychology to meet the challenge of it. Not everyone “catches” his or herself in time. There are many terrible stories abound with tales of lost control.

I gain my insight from Torah. It happens to be my choice for principle guidance. I have no intent to impinge on anyone elses sources for moral or spiritual guidance. That said, Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz brings from Gemara that the ways of The Torah become part of a Torah scholar’s personality; the more a person learns the Torah and delves into its great wisdom, the more it becomes part of him. I reckon this holds true for anyone who permeates his life to live with holiness and good teaching from words of “Iight”, wisdom and truth. A true scholar of genuine Divine wisdom should be a person who walks the talk, who lives it, who embodies it –  someone in whom the values of “The Way” are personified in their conduct, the way they interact with people, their integrity and their decency. Every part of their being should be an expression of such high values.

This is why when there is anger, the wisdom and “in”-spiration of the Torah leaves. If the person who makes a point of embodiying the teaching is not walking the talk, if they are not an expression of the depth of Torah values, then there is no place for Torah within such a person. Living the values of “The Way” day-to-day is a prerequisite to being a true “enlightened” scholar. Hence many passages in the Talmud discuss how decency is the foundation upon which G-d taught learning can be built – not just because it is the moral imperative, but because the Holiest of Teachings cannot remain in a person who does not actually live its way. It has to become part of who he or she is.

There is a famous letter written by Nachmanides, Rabbi Moshe ben Nachman, known as the Ramban, who lived some 700 years ago. He wrote a letter,  what could be called an ethical will, giving advice for life to his son; but his words are timeless. He began the letter with a verse from Proverbs, and the first sentence in his own words reads as follows: “Accustom yourself always to speak all of your words with gentleness, to all people and at all times.” This is the Ramban’s first instruction to his son and, by extension, to people who value good moral qualities. We must speak gently to all people at all times. He continues, “and through this, you will be saved from anger which is a very evil trait and causes people to sin. This is what Sages say: that “whoever becomes angry all kinds of hell rule over him.”

The fact that the Ramban chose to start his ethical will with these instructions shows us how dangerous anger really is, but at the same time also gives us practical advice on how to control it. He is saying, externally you must act in a way which is the opposite of anger and that will have an internal impact. What we portray to the outside influences who we are on the inside. If we speak gently and kindly, this will prevent anger.

Of course all this is easier said than done. But, if any of us are desiring in any way to emulate The Creator and “Be” in Its Likeness, it is imperative to consider these words and learn ways to do so.

Feel free to add your comment.

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Of Wives and Men

Are you or have you been married? What’s it like? Pretty intense at times for me . . . I want to believe for the better.

This post could be classified as one of my intimate personal revelations. However, like I want to believe, it’s for the good. As with all of my posts anyway. We’re in this to win.

So it goes, a man seeks a wife. Why? It was kind of fun being single. No limitations regarding my whereabouts whenever and I could interact with whomever I wanted without questions like “Where were you?” or Who were you with?” suddenly becoming like hornets flying at my face. Of course, when you can honestly answer without fear, unlike those times when the “smokin” co-worker in the office wants to spend maximum time talking to you and you very much enjoy it, it’s not so bad. But the world is full of temptations . . . no end in sight nor feeling. What ya gonna do?

What logic lurks behind a commitment which lasts an eternity? Would anyone in their right mind sign a job contract which contains a binding lifetime obligation, when so many jobs are available which do not require such an extreme commitment? Why not enjoy relationships for their natural duration, and then move on when the eroded passion ceases to justify the maintenance of the relationship? Why would any sane person willingly consent to stick with a relationship even after it deteriorates to the point that it is rocky and challenging at best?

According to Kabbalistic teaching, the compulsion to rush into a lifelong commitment is an expression of the human soul’s deepest ambitions. The subliminal signals emanating from the soul have caused the logic-defying institution of marriage to be an integral part of the human fabric since the dawn of time. The soul’s desire to connect and commit makes the aspiration for marriage one of our most basic instincts.

What is the soul’s agenda? What does it stand to gain from hooking up with another soul? The mystics explain that two primary considerations drive the soul’s desire to marry: a desire to be complete, and its need to transcend itself.

In the first marriage ever, Adam and Eve were initially created as a single, two-faced body. The single being was split in two—a man and a woman—and then reunited in matrimony. In the world of souls, the partition and reunification of the male and female components of individual souls occurs continually. Every body is occupied by half a soul, and both body and soul reach a state of completion only when they are reunited with their long-lost other half.

The Talmud says that each soul’s predestined soul-mate is determined before its birth. The two may be born continents apart, with seemingly nothing in common, but divine destiny ensures that everyone’s path intersects with that of their soul-mate. However, in rare instances, due to external spiritual factors which may intervene, it is possible for people to marry spouses who are not their soul-mate. Even in such instances, however, eventually the two original soul-mates will marry—whether later on in life as a second marriage, or in a future incarnation of the two souls.

According to Kabbalists, the soul’s most fervent wish is to transcend itself. Marriage offers the soul the opportunity to express its altruistic nature. Marriage is about two souls who put their individual needs aside, and commit themselves 100% to the success of the relationship.

With Adam and Chavah at the forefront, it has been our mission to sanctify the world and make it a suitable place for emulating its Creator and be cause for “It” to revel. The home is the first frontier. Man and his woman are the perfect team to implement this plan. When working in harmony, they have the ability to make the home an epicenter of holiness whose ripple affects the neighborhood and the cosmos.

While that may be the ideal situation, the reality can be quite different. Now I’m not saying that I am unhappy, not at all. Sure there are some unhappy moments in time which goes without saying. Things can’t be “jolly roger” all the time. How would we be able to appreciate the good times if we have nothing to compare them with? How would we know the difference?

But here’s the thing and this is where it starts getting real personal again. I don’t know how many of you read my post “This Is Personal” , but if you did you’d know that I am not “white”. Here’s where you find out that my wife is . . . well sort of. Not in the way that’s meant derogatorily. She’s an American Romanian gene Yehudiah born in Israel but grew up in New York City. Suddenly the Talking Heads come to mind . . . How did I get here?

Okay, I’ll tell you. For whatever reasons which I cannot say because they are altogether not so clear to me even, I’ve had this strong desire to want to know “Who is G-d?” . . . Really. My parents practiced Catholicism. While I faithfully went to church as a kid, I found myself wanting to know why the person people were saying saved them he himself prayed to G-d. Something didn’t sit right with me. The more I began to peruse through the bible that we had at home with its intriguing pictures, it appeared to me that maybe the essence of prayer should be directed to The Creator of Heaven and Earth. I don’t know, this is way to deep to write about now. Maybe I’ll write a book someday. But, essentially, I found myself in search of truth. Besides, waking up to the fact that the holidays that we celebrated, despite being quite fun days, had a lot of lies connected to them. What’s the deal with the Easter bunny? How come we had a real mean German shepherd dog guarding the inside of our house that let no one in and Mr. Claus could somehow sneak into the house overnight and plant loads of presents under the tree in our living room? No way he could get away with that and not get torn to shreds! Surely I’d have seen some red and white fabric shreds lying around somewhere in the house. Oh and the search for reindeer in the skies all night while listening for the bells chinging over an otherwise snowy silent night? Not once in all my years on this quest did I catch a glimpse of any of those characters. Why was I being lied to? What was the cover up? The truth doesn’t stand on one leg. It’s stabilized by a solid stance.

So I began my search for it intensively while attending university. There I met so many different types of people with so many varied beliefs that an opened mind can get flooded. I finally came to the conclusion that “original” teaching, the first five books that Moses wrote, had the most to offer me in the way of understanding who the real deal is as far as I can understand “It”. Not that I totally do but I feel good that I may be communicating better with “It” than I was under the influence of some other belief. Some say that somewhere in my gene pool there must have been a Jewish “spark” carried down from an unknown ancestor. I must say however, had I known about the Noachide Laws, that might have kept me from being under the yoke of 606 commandments and instead having to be responsible for upholding just seven! So much more liberating. But I’m happy to be living life under the “Canopy of Divine Guidance” so you won’t get any complaints from me. But, for anyone still with me on this blog dealing with similar issues like those I faced, the Noachide World Center may be a good place to look into. Check out these videos too.

Anyway, so I wanted to get married. Did I upset my destiny toward my soul-mate? Or was this part of the divine plan? What does G-d know that I may never find out?

When you change your world, you create a whole new reality. But your phenotype stays the same. For me, the types of “fish in the sea” seemed to become much fewer in number. In fact, pretty much down to zilch. Suddenly, pretty much any Yehudiah with brown skin that my friends and extended family would meet became a candidate for me. For that reason alone. But compatibility is an important concern for such a milestone commitment. I felt no need to be confined within the mindset that my help-meet had to look like me skin-wise. We are clearly people after all . . . Spiritual beings having a human experience! Not that much is different between us outside of the culture we are trained by.

So that had become the main challenge. Bridging the gap between cultural upbringing. I have found that compromise can be a double-edged sword that one must exercise extreme caution with. It can either encourage your wildest dreams or send you to your wildest nightmare. It’s important to keep your eyes on the prize you are trying to win. What’s your ultimate goal? Remember, begin with the end in mind. Now mind you, I, like every sane man on the planet, am attracted to beautiful women. Not that they are attracted to me, but I for sure am drawn to quality. Sure, there are some who look absolutely fantastic, but you can tell right away or even some short time after that they don’t represent quality women. Then again, you can find some really high quality women who look somewhat beast. I selected a “golden soul” who most certainly wasn’t going to be a draw to the “wolves” and maybe run astray nor would I wake up in the morning thinking again of those Talking Heads. Well, not too often anyway!! Admittedly it can happen.

So that’s it. In a search for a mutual lifestyle companion, we may find our selves building our own prison for reasons unknown. But, if the conditions are good, what’s the benefit of breaking out? Being committed doesn’t have to refer to an insane asylum. You have to stick with your “inner voice” and go with your program. It just may be that no matter which one you choose, she’s the right medicine for what ails you . . . Even if at times she makes you “sick”. It’s all good.

What Makes Being Human An Art?

First of all, we all works of art. No? Descendants of the first man and woman created from clay that was inspired with the “life breath” of The Almighty Holy One. An occurrence so awesome it can drive you insane imagining the power of what that means for us as the latest representatives of that being! There’s a reason why we are . . . What’s the point?

General descriptions of art mention an idea of imaginative or technical skill stemming from human agency and creation. The nature of art and related concepts, such as creativity and interpretation, are explored in a branch of philosophy known as aesthetics.

My reference in this blog is to the pursuit of perfecting the “gift” we’ve been given. How we translate into behavior what it means to live better . . . being human at its best where more of us benefit. Of course, this involves a whole multitude of aspects.

Humanity represents itself in many ways. Most of which will not ever be discussed in this forum. However, many aspects will be and it is incumbent upon those of us wanting to “be” better, to address those issues of utmost importance for us.

Besides the search for gratification, there is an awareness of the inevitability of death. Everyone at some point dies. There is no way out of this! It’s reality. But what becomes most important to keep in mind is that in the end, it is not the amount of years one lived but rather the amount of life one had in those years! Quality is what really counts here.

Given the ups and downs of the experience we know of as life, it takes real mastery to maintain a sense of balance and coordination throughout the trials and tribulations we all endure. It really helps to take an artistic approach to go through daily living with grace and respect . . . especially when the going gets rough. Imagination helps!

It’s nice to own personal knowledge in working systems that can be duplicated. If it isn’t broke, there isn’t anything to fix. But you’ve got to make it yours! Then you can use it at will whenever you need it. Own the rights, win the delights! In fact, this is the benefit of The Licensing Solution for making money . . . selling other peoples work.

There are many working systems of martial arts which provide their “players” with tools for self-defense. Trained automatic response perfected by practice gives its “owners” the ability to defend themselves when attacked  . . . a key to inner security and situational confidence.

When people meet you after you’ve been trained properly, they instinctively sense an uprightness in your stature. Calmness and surety pervade your being and you mirror and reflect back comfort to those who interact peacefully with you, yet act appropriately reflexive when relating to the need to deflect onslaught.

Those of you in my sphere of physical influence, for now folk living in Northern Israel, who want to radiate auras of confidence which reflect an ability to appropriately face confrontations in their lives will have Wing Chun as the system to make use for personal defense.

I learned the “traditional” version of wing chun as taught by Sigong William Cheuk Hing Cheung though Sifu Sonny Whitmore in Queens, New York. This is a unique Chinese form of self-defense, originally perfected by a woman, which instills a more formidable sense of being in a third of the time it took to master Shaolin or Sil Lum martial artistry.

Master Cheung happened to become Bruce Lee’s (Shiu Loong) best childhood friend after meeting him at Bruce’s nine year birthday party in Hong Kong. William Cheung was also nine years of age at the time.

Potentially, if you live near me, you will be well advantaged to partake of my lessons. You’ll train having wiser responses to your environment’s theoretically potential onslaughts and gain deeper personal insights for expressing your virtuous side of being.

As you become an intensified work of art, artistically designed by you – mindfully – you’ll be a vortex of power. It be with you as it is yours! Your “be”-ing is your art.

Goal Setting

Some of us want to reach higher levels of being in our world. Not to remain the same old same that’s old. We want to be better and to feel better and to have more satisfaction from life and all that comprises it. But this doesn’t come about all by itself. Much of what is good in life has to be worked for. After all, with the “fall” of Adam, G-d said (more or less) to him that as a result he and his descendants: “… by the sweat of thy brow shalt thou eat bread …” This has implications for pretty much anything that we want. Being “cast out” of “the Eden garden” this is where goal setting (and supplication for that matter) comes in.

Three specific behaviors have been proven to bring about effective goal getting:

  • Setting specific dates for each goal (Specific down to the day)
  • Whittling down the goal into a series of small steps and setting a specific deadline for each step (What’s the best way to eat an whale? One bite at a time … cutting it down into little edible pieces …)
  • Reviewing the defined stages regularly and measuring the progress. Where necessary make adjustments and take the next step and meet the deadline.

It’s good to carve out a few minutes each day to look at a step by step worksheet and be determined to not let its purpose drift to the wayside. Spend a few minutes figuring out EXACTLY what you really want to achieve and WHY. More importantly, work backwards from that point to see exactly how you can and WILL get your mark. Once you get a firm and clear goal in mind, then you can start to put a real plan together.

Several different routes can take you to your goal. Some will be easier to follow but will take much longer to shuttle you to where you want to be. Some may require more “energy” to be invested, but will get you to where you want to be much more quickly and be much more fulfilling to you in the end, which is what most of us want. Who wants to wait a long time to reach a destination?

While you’re at it you might as well think BIG! Truly wonderful successes happen in “quantum” leaps – not in tiny little increments. Like … Wow! We did it!

Begin with the end in mind. Start tracing from the endpoint and work backwards to envision a solid “plan of attack”. It is a MUST to achieve goals. Why set them in the first place? They are the “thing” that one has their vision on to achieve. Shift your mindset into a whole different gear. Realize that you can’t make that shift by behaving as you may have until now. You can’t reach your mark by simply working harder doing the same things you have been. Where have those actions gotten you to this day? Start to think in terms of leverage and find an existing system or different ways to be much more effective with less effort. If I’m not mistaken, Einstein said: “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. What results do you want? Think sanely … and bigger.

If making more money is one of your goals, here’s a way to discover how to earn a real income from home. The Home Business Summit is an “international event tour” where internet millionaires come together to share their “insider secrets”. Every single speaker is an “in the trenches” online marketer – they are DOING what they come to teach.

Should you be interested, take a look and select the best location and time when you can join this incredible 3-day live event. You will then be positioned to learn what separates internet millionaires from internet failures by “experts” in the field. You’ll also learn the exact steps you need to take in order to get $bookoo coming into your bank account each month. When possible, learn from the best!

Every One of Us Make The Difference!

We are all worlds within ourselves. Sages in the Babylonian Talmud (Tractate Sanhedrin 37a) say whoever destroys a soul, it is considered as if he destroyed an entire world. And whoever saves a life, it is considered as if he saved an entire world.

Brandi Snyder in a quote said, “To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.” How true! The effect we can have on others in our environment is immense. When possible, be the shining star in the constellation of other’s lives. Hey, have you heard this Jimmy Cliff song yet?

Also by the way, have you seen this awesome environmental impact video yet? It really shows why everyone must increase their contribution to making our world reality more positive by living according to the natural law of shared resources. Stay within the confines of proper consumption and allowing regeneration. How is it you are relating to our world? Given the latest atmospheric and geological events, it doesn’t appear that our global situation is good. Those of us who want to live in harmony and peace must walk the walk. Who’s the driving force of your decision making? If it’s you, then that’s a good start. You can live your values. Use your common sense and be your own leader … do your thinking for yourself. Play your part in “the family of life” as you best fit. The difference will benefit us all.

But even more-so, Maimonides said, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”

If I can make an impact on even one person that in effect causes him or her to live a life of happiness without worries and the feeling of over-working, I may have done enough. But to have an exponential effect … Well that’s simply marvelous! I imagine that would qualify me to be some sort of hero … not just a mere sand witch (bad play on words …). Nah seriously, if in the opinion of others I affect a change in such a way that someone learns to “take the reins on their horse”, so to say, and ride like a champion, wouldn’t that qualify? That’s one of the reasons why I promote Matt Lloyd’s 21 step internet business system. By far the most effective system for making high ticket commissions online in the world. It will dramatically help you to change and take care of preparing you to be a more successful “home” business person . . . with the tools proven to do what they do, best. What’s more, you will begin becoming a “freed” agent in the mix that makes our world. Set free to do your “thang” . . . an adventure of personal growth and development.